Today is the 12th day of vacation, but instead of feeling like we arrived yesterday it feels like we've been here for ages. It's the last vacation as a "family" which we promised our daughter and right before the divorce date. It's the first vacation in my life when I count the days to being back home...

I'm the type of person who loves the seaside and being on a beach holiday once a year is a must. That's how I recharge my batteries for the year. This year though I don't feel refreshed at all. It was more of a challenge to see if I can sustain all I learnt in terms of personal growth, boundaries, thought carousel control, etc. Although I need to say I'm proud of how I handled it overall there are areas to improve like boundaries.

Since the day we arrived my still husband is acting like he's madly in love, insisting on holding hands, etc. Despite my multiple No's, twelve days later he still didn't grasp the message, so I try to carry something all the time to avoid it and plenty of similar examples. Not to mention the desperate attempts to discuss topics we've discussed billion times and always led to fights. Well, I was on the quest not to let him ruin my vacation and to the biggest part of it I managed.

Extremely proud I am to have exercised my latest learning. I've been reading a book since we're here about 50 sentences to make life easier which I highly recommend. It started with "I decide who gets to annoy me". Straight to the point! So every time a situation occurred, I'd repeat this sentence to myself and look the situation differently. I even tested some of the tips from the book in conversation with him, but here I prefer to keep it just to the fact they didn't work with him.

As for boundaries I think that's still a way to go. I'm very vocal about things I don't want and yet in the past days happened to do some of though. My new less self-critical me believes it's not all on me, but also the opposite side. Yet part of me still screams inside that I shall be stronger when it comes to setting boundaries.

All in all, it was a good test, although that's not what vacations are for. Luckily, I had my mom and some old family friends traveling with us to lean on whenever my learnings were not enough. I have two more days to enjoy here and then back home where I'm happy to be back to my routines and limited contact with him.