Until recently I’ve considered myself a strong person. Last week though I had a different look at my self-image. And that’s not to say I’m not a strong person, but more to acknowledge that there are some areas I need to work on.

I’ve been asking myself for a long time what am I doing wrong in raising my daughter so she “turns out” different than what I believe she “should be” according to my parenting. Someone recently said to me that it’s not what we preach to our kids, but what they observe. My initial defense mechanism was "I do lead by example". Well, guess what...Here's a story about it.

While standing in front of the building where I was supposed to go for the first meet-up of an endo group last week, I actually felt scared. Scared of the unknown. What was it behind those doors? What will I need to share? How much will I need to open up? Was I ready for it?

Apart from the fact that I wasn't sure what to expect, I am not even a very outgoing person either. So it was "double trouble". As I promised myself growth and with a bit of encouragement from a very good friend,  I went out of my comfort zone and went to the meet. And it was "wow"! One of the most rewarding experiences I had in a long time.

It was only later that evening when it "hit me". I’ve been telling my daughter not to be afraid to try things – riding a bicycle, talking to the new kids at dance class, etc. But I wasn’t acting upon what I was preaching! I was always sticking to the “known group” at parties, I didn’t go to unknown places (like the meetup), etc. So how was I expecting her to go “out of her comfort zone” when I wasn’t showing her in my actions how rewarding it is to do so?

I’ve taken a conscious decision that day to make sure that I do little steps whenever possible to lead her by example. It’s a promise to myself and my own growth, but moreover a promise to my daughter that I can be the role model she needs. It's been about a week since then and I'm happy to say I've been very actively practicing what I've been preaching for the sake of both of us.